Reflective Journal #1

1.  What do you know about yourself as a learner?

I tend to shy away from trying new things, but once I try it once I usually increase my confidence in it and want to do the best I can with it. I find that the best approach for me is to just jump in and go for it. If I spend time thinking about it, I tend to overthink it. Once I start doing it then it takes a lot to know when to stop, because otherwise I will keep trying to make myself better at it. It may seem contradictory that I like challenging myself, but also am afraid to try new things, but that's the best I can describe it. Compare it to this scenario: I have noticed that we, humans, tend to not like getting wet, such as if we are playing with water guns, we try our best not to get wet. But, once we get over that initial squirt, then we tend to not mind being absolutely soaked. I feel like that but with every challenge; the more I find the confidence to do something, the more I want to do it and to do better in it. For example, I spend much of my time painting and I always am looking to improve my abilities. It makes me feel more accomplished. For instance, over spring break I tried out a new type of paint, water mixable oil paints. Previously, I was not satisfied with the paint, but I decided to try it again, and gained some drastic results because of it. I learned that I prefer this kind of paint to my original preference of acrylic. I found it greatly enhanced my paintings and definitely increased my confidence in my abilities as a painter. 

2.  What has  impacted your life as a learner?

I think that my learning preference has impacted my life as a learner, because it helps me recognize what my challenges are and how I can make my learning come easier.  I also know that there are many things that I lack in confidence in, and many things I am confident in. I use what I know to build up my confidence in being able to do thing I am afraid to try.

3.  What score category did you get on your mindset quiz?

I have a Strong Growth Mindset (100%). I believe I have developed into this mindset over the years, even before taking the survey quiz. I know that I am hard on myself, but I have never doubted the abilities to grow within others.

4.  What is the connection between your mindset and your experience as a learner?

I have gone between a phases of having a fixed mindset and a growth mindset. I struggled with reading in elementary school and it caused me to be often placed in the"slower" classes. This really impacted my mindset, because none of my friends were placed in those classes, so it made me feel as if I were not as smart as them. I also have often compared myself to my younger brother. He has excelled in everything and because I am older, he often has the advantage of being able to look at what I have done and then improve himself, whereas I have not had that chance with him. I think that I have an underlining fear of failure that might cause me to be afraid of trying new things.

5.  What steps are you taking to grow your mindset and become the learner that you hope your students will one day be?

 I have learned that it is important to not compare my accomplishments with others, since we all have different strengths and we can all accomplish things in our own way and at our own pace.  I believe that  it is a good idea to try not to let your comparison of others be a hindrance to what you are able to do or are willing to try. However, I believe it is nearly impossible to escape our need to compare ourselves to others, so it is important that we take what we learn from them and be mindful of the differences then use what we know in order to improve ourselves.  I think of my painting for this. I would like to be an accomplished painter, and yet I am constantly comparing my skills to the abilities of a fellow artist. But instead of looking at what I am done and thinking that my art is rubbish and my fellow artist's work is above my abilities, I think of it critically and I try to imitate what she does in hopes that it improves my own work. I also try to own my work and judge it based on my own standards, rather than hers. I hope that my students will also be able to take this route in mind when they seek to improve their own work, so that they can gain the same if not better sense of accomplish that I find.